I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Randomize
