I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
