you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
