I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I came so hard my ears popped.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
