so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
