he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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