Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
