WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
