Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
