It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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