shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
