Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
pop tarts are not kleenex
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
