why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
