Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
