yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Enjoy the penises
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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