Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
