Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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