I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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