Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Randomize
