why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
