He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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