you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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