But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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