Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
