he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Quick, to the slutcave!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
