Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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