in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
