Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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