i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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