this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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