I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
