Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize