Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize