They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
