I have demons in me.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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