OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
