I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
