I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
