Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
