its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize