i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
