We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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