The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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