He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
