He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
