you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
