Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
