Banned from zoo.
Again?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
