But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I need to align my fucking chakras
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
