I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
