I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
