I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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