Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
