OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
there was a trapeze. enough said
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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