Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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