Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
